


but you took your toll on me

by nereid



Series: Fem February 2021 [2]
Category: The Expanse (TV)
Genre: F/F, Minor Jim Holden/Naomi Nagata, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:07:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29216166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nereid/pseuds/nereid
Summary: It will never happen. This is what Camina tells herself, while she works too much on a space station in the service of men who inevitably disappoint her, and finds at least a semblance of solace in Naomi's unexpected presence on Tycho station, a bright shining beacon compared to the shit she's surrounded with.
Relationships: Camina Drummer/Naomi Nagata
Series: Fem February 2021 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2139975
Comments: 7
Kudos: 12





	but you took your toll on me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kwritten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwritten/gifts).



> For the fabulous fem february ficathon [here](https://clockwork-hart1.dreamwidth.org/53291.html) which y'all wanna come check out
> 
> for the prompt: _why do you love him_
> 
> title borrowed from Florence + The Machine.
> 
> K, this turned out more Camina centered than anything else, I hope you enjoy it.

It will never happen. This is what Camina tells herself, while she works too much on a space station in the service of men who inevitably disappoint her, and finds at least a semblance of solace in Naomi's unexpected presence on Tycho station, a bright shining beacon compared to the shit she's surrounded with.

It could happen. This is what Camina tells herself, while she continues to work too much in the service of the same disappointing shitty men, and Naomi is no solace at all, because Holden's not on Tycho station, so Naomi isn't there either.

It will happen soon. This is what Camina tells herself, while she captains a shit-ton of _legitimate salvage_ held together by the power of make-believe where she will inevitably disappoint everyone, and her XO disappoints her daily, but Naomi is her Chief Engineer, and Naomi is here, and Holden is not. Then Camina has to ask _I'm the wrong reason now?_ , and then it's all back to shit, though it's a question if it was ever anything else.

It will never happen. This is what Camina tells herself, whil she's looking at Naomi looking at nothing but Holden. This is what Camina tells herself, her body split into pieces that might never fit back together again, a captain held together by fucking spite and a modicum of loyalty to an almost-nation led by men with big dreams and not much else to show for them.

It will never happen, and it's shit, and when there's no good reason why she should, Camina puts herself back together again, no thanks to anyone else, and Naomi leaves with Holden, and they still talk sometimes. It was never going to happen, but Camina still wants it to, but she learns to ignore it, just like she ignores all the other pain.


End file.
